Ronaldinho Is Fat?

Who told me Brazil had Ecuador in a friendly tonight? That's right, it was the Brazilian woman I started a conversation with while having a drink the other night. The bartender thought we were together (I swear, if she sticks me on the same bill with a complete stranger one more time, that's it!), and our utter unfamiliarity with each other led to conversation, most of it surrounding Brazil's World Cup failure. "It is the fault of the - how do you say it - technical," she started. You mean the coach? "Yes, the coach, the technical, whatever." It couldn't be all his fault; he had good players, they just didn't step up (I like a good argument). "Yes, but he didn't have to pick players on name, they have a lot of good players. Honaldo -" Well, Ronaldo is fat. "Yes, I know, Honaldo, he is fat! He can't run! When he was young, he could run around everybody, but now he is too fat! It is all the money." Well, you can't put all the blame on him, he did score some goals. Now Ronaldinho, on the other hand - "Oh my god, Honaljeeyo, he is fat!" Ronaldinho is fat? "Yes, he is fat!" I'm not sure about that. "Look at him, when he was young, he was good! But now he has all this money, and he has too much in the bum-bum now!" I've never heard that one before, I'm not quite sure I agree. "Next time you watch, look at him! He has too much in the bum-bum!"
Lots of laughter, but hey alcohol and talk of Ronaldinho's bum-bum will do that. "Hobinyo, he is good! Kaka is good! Honaljeeyo, no," she continued. I couldn't really argue with that, our love for Robinho here on 116th Street is well documented, and Kaka, no matter how inexplicably he reminds us of Mandy Moore, is quite a good player, possibly Brazil's best. "We need to put in the younger players. That is what our new technical -" Dunga? "Dunga! Yes! He will put in the younger players who can still run!"
There was a lot more laughter, and she soon exited the bar, which brings us to now, where we here on 116th Street are watching Fox Soccer Channel with the score 2-1 Brazil. A few observations: well, what do you know, Ronaldinho does indeed seem to have added a few kilograms to his "bum-bum." We will consider this a developing storyline. Robinho, Kaka and Fred are Brazil's best players on form right now (Juninho as well, but as he has retired from the national team, we may never see his full abilities in a canary jersey). I normally hate international friendlies this early in the club season, but any game involving Brazil is quite an event. Seeing how fired up this crowd is, you can't tell me this game doesn't mean anything. Also, Ecuador has very sharp change kits.

One final note, R.I.P. to Mooch Myernick, and best wishes to his family.