116street Soccer

Footballing from a lesser authority...

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Location: New York, New York

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Breakups Can Be So Messy

Do you remember that girl you used to date? She was the really sexy one, and you went to all of the best parties together; all the world was jealous of you. Thing is, you were never really into her that much, and when you knew it was time to let her go, her ego couldn't handle it. She had never been dumped before (after all, everyone wanted to be with her), so to keep from losing face, she started giving you the cold treatment and saying mean things about you to anyone who would ask.
Of course, once you started seeing that other girl, the classy one who didn't party as much but was sexy as hell in her own right, the one that she hated, all hell broke loose. She started dissing you to complete strangers; started hooking up with the other girl's ex; she even resorted to making up asinine stories about you that no one could even begin to take seriously. Things got so bad that when you ran into the girl that you'd see from time to time on the side, you couldn't help but crack up, laughing at how bizarre your ex's behavior had become.
Her self-esteem issues were now showing through, and while you were so very ready for a fresh start with your new lady, your ex's increasingly strange antics were keeping you from moving on. Even those dudes from back in the day, the ones who were so jealous before, would come up to you asking, "What's up with Chelsea?"
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Yeah, me neither.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Matt said...

:-)))

Here's my version:

Remember that the moody b***h you were dating that you lavished money and attention on, but was jealous of the fact that you once spent more on another girlfriend and was unwilling to experiment with new positions, even for the sake of helping you perform better? The same one who would threaten a break-up year after year when you were having financial difficulties. The one who failed to show up for your overseas vacation and said she would leave you unless you bought her a massive diamond ring, then complained that the ring you offered her was not big enough. The one who claimed that she wanted to leave for Italy to be with a hot Italian guy then, after you broke up, moved in with the pompous dork next door, claiming that you showed her no respect.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Z. Jackson said...

Ha! Pretty funny stuff...

Yeah, the story should probably end right here, before this William Gallas/Arsenal/Chelsea bizarro universe ex-girlfriend stuff takes a turn for the worse...

Never a dull moment in London, I swear. I feel like giving all parties involved a standing ovation...

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

I hope we've seen the end of it. I've had enough of these ridiculous international weeks as well. Germany are up 11-0 against San Marino. Time to weed out some of these no-hopers early in the process.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Z. Jackson said...

Yeah, that's another issue I hope to address fairly soon. I know they have to get on with the Euro qualifiers and everything, but UEFA seems to be cannibalizing its own product, scheduling them so soon after both the World Cup and (especially) the start of club season. Many leagues haven't even started yet! Sigh...

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

13-0 now. Germany missed an extra point wide right.

4:44 PM  

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