Breakups Can Be So Messy

Do you remember that girl you used to date? She was the really sexy one, and you went to all of the best parties together; all the world was jealous of you. Thing is, you were never really into her that much, and when you knew it was time to let her go, her ego couldn't handle it. She had never been dumped before (after all, everyone wanted to be with her), so to keep from losing face, she started giving you the cold treatment and saying mean things about you to anyone who would ask.
Of course, once you started seeing that other girl, the classy one who didn't party as much but was sexy as hell in her own right, the one that she hated, all hell broke loose. She started dissing you to complete strangers; started hooking up with the other girl's ex; she even resorted to making up asinine stories about you that no one could even begin to take seriously. Things got so bad that when you ran into the girl that you'd see from time to time on the side, you couldn't help but crack up, laughing at how bizarre your ex's behavior had become.
Her self-esteem issues were now showing through, and while you were so very ready for a fresh start with your new lady, your ex's increasingly strange antics were keeping you from moving on. Even those dudes from back in the day, the ones who were so jealous before, would come up to you asking, "What's up with Chelsea?"
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Yeah, me neither.