Cry Me a River

We'll be getting back to our regularly scheduled programming in a moment, but in the meantime, I need to take the time to wonder, what the hell is going on with Ruud van Nistelrooy? He seriously couldn't handle one extra day off? In a thoroughly meaningless game against Charlton? Everyone knows he's been unhappy for a while, pretty much since Gary Neville was named United captain over him, and then during his run on the bench while Louis Saha was scoring left and right for the Red Devils. But seriously, he had to skip out on the team before the match even started, just because he was benched for a match with less importance than most of his youth league games? Ruud van Nistelrooy, you are a grown-@$$ baby.
Of course, RvN wasn't the biggest baby of the afternoon; that award goes to the men of Tottenham Hotspur, who, faced with the biggest match of the season, came up with food poisoning early yesterday morning, and subsequently used it as an excuse to go out like a bunch of beeyotches. Food poisoning is, of course, a pretty serious thing, but for Spurs to not only use it as a crutch, but also to allege conspiracy, is a straight up punk maneuver. And as we all know, punks jump up to get beat down, which Thierry Henry practically did by himself to Tottenham's Champions League hopes by scoring a hat trick against Wigan. Need I illustrate the difference between the good and the great once again, or should I purchase a year's supply of Pepto for Spurs instead?